You know yours is a Red Neck Church if:
Upon learning that Jesus fed the 5000, the men want to
know whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what
bait was used to catch 'em.
The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the
purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows
how to play one.
The pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up
the offering." Then five guys and two women stand up.
Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official
church holiday.
A member of the church requests to be buried in his
4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole
it couldn't get out of."
The choir is known as the "OK Chorale."
In a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven
last names in the church directory.
Baptism is referred to as "Branding."
There is a special bake sale to raise funds for a new church
septic tank.
High notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to howling.
The baptismal is a #2 galvanized wash tub.
The choir robes were donated by Billy Bob's Bar-B-Q, and are
embroidered with his logo.
The collection plates are really hubcaps from a '56 Chevy.
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