'Twas The Night Before Christmas
And All Through The House
Everybody Felt Shitty
Even The Mouse.
Dad's At the Whorehouse
And Mom's Smoking Grass
I'd Just Settled Down
For A Warm Piece Of Ass.
When Out On The Lawn
I Heard Such A Clatter
I Sprung For My Piece
To See What Was The Matter.
Then Out On The Lawn
I Saw A Big Red Dick. I Knew
In A Moment It Must
Be Saint Nick.
He Came Down The Chimney
Like A Bat Out Of Hell
I Knew In A Moment
The Fucker Had Fell.
He Filled All Our Stockings
With Pretzels And Beer
And A Big Rubber Dick
For My Brother The Queer.
He Shot Up The Chimney
With A Thunderous Fart
The Son Of A Bitch
Blew The Chimney Apart.
He Swore And He Cursed
As He Rode Out Of Sight
Piss On You All
And Have A Hell Of A Night!"
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