A man was in a terrible car accident, and his "manhood" was mangled and literally torn from his body (Ouch!). He was quickly rushed to the hospital...
Doctor Schwartz assured him that modern medicine could give him back his manhood and even better than before! "But," his doctor said, "the insurance companies don't cover the surgery, since it is considered cosmetic."
Doctor Schwartz explained that the cost would be $3,500.00 for the "small" version, $6,500.00 for the "medium," and $14,000.00 for the "whopper."
The man said that he was positive that he wanted the largest penis.
Doctor Schwartz strongly urged him to talk it over with his wife before he made any decision, since she also should be asked about what actually would give her the most pleasure.
As the doctor left the room, the man quickly called his wife on the phone and explained all their options.
A little while later Doctor Schwartz returned to his patient's room, and found the man looking quite dejected.
"Well, what have the two of you decided?" asked the Doctor.
The man somberly answered, "She decided that she'd rather use all of the money to remodel the kitchen!"