Have you ever wondered what would be in "Titanic" if the same was made in
Bollywood? The name of the movie would be "Goa to Bombay". Well here it goes!
* Madhuri has to be Rose and who else but Shahrukh as JJJJJ JJJ Jack.
Madhuri's fiance would be Gulshan Grover who mutters "bad man" everytime he
* Amitabh Bacchan would make a guest appearance as the Ship's captain and
would be waltzing with Madhuri during the party. Of course, he would not die.
* Shahrukh will be travelling with his sister and 5 other chamchas from
college plus 50 extras who are well trained with every dance sequence in the
* The movie would only last for 7 hours. Thanks to great piece of editing,
there would be only 22 songs in the movie out of 30 in CD album.
* The ship would be overflowing with extras whom you normally find in movies
that have a court scene full of people or a slum full of aam-janta. The ship
will start sinking, not because of the iceberg but because of excessive on-
* The infamous lovemaking in the back seat of the car would be replaced with
a song in the Swiss Alps.
* Best friend of Shahrukh will save his sister from being raped during chaos.
The sister will instantly fall in love right after this and she will also get
a song or two.
* Remember Rose changing her mind about jumping into the water? In our case,
Madhuri changes her mind, since...since... the ship is moving along a creek
and the water stinks!
* How can we forget the painting scene? Shahrukh would be painting Madhuri's
portrait with Madhuri fully covered minus the locket (Censors yaar!). This is
to be followed by a dance number, with extras of course, in a art gallery.
* Shahrukh would eventually find his long lost mom Aasoo Devi on the ship.
Only during the climax would Aasoo Devi tell Shahrukh about how Gulshan
troubled them. Shahrukh would then yell, "Kutte mein tera khoon pee
jaaoonga". The ensuing fight would only last for an hour.
* There would be an antakshari for the "drowners" conducted by Annu Kapoor
instead of the trio playing the violin.
* Most important!! The number of times the word "Bachaoooo" would be yelled
would be a record in the history of cinema.
And the masterpiece would be waste of time...ooops waste of money without...
* "Raaaabert...Captain se ja ke kaho ke agar apni maa or bahen ko zinda dekhna
chahte ho to naav ko Hindustaan kee sarhado se hamesha hamesha ke liye bahooot
door le le..."