Would you drive any better if I shoved that cell phone up your butt?
If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you!
Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you're a jackass.
100,000,000 sperm and YOU were the fastest?
Your gene pool needs a little chlorine.
You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you!
DON'T tick ME OFF! I'M RUNNING OUT OF PLACES TO HIDE THE bodies.
Save Your Breath ... You'll need it to blow up your date!
My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom.
GROW YOUR OWN DOPE, PLANT A MAN.
All men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
So you're a feminist...Isn't that cute.
I need someone really bad...Are you really bad?
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
All men are idiots; I married their leader
The more you complain, the longer God makes you live.
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
We are born naked, wet, and hungry....Then things get worse.
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
and the #1 bumper sticker of the week:
Honk if you Want To See My Finger
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